Facing Inner Fears. – Not Missing Out On Life.

Updated: Dec 4, 2020

What are your inner fears?  Are you someone with fear of public speaking?  Are you someone with fear of speaking one-on-one?  These two seem like two extremes, but for to the person with either fear, the feeling is just as strong. I want to share with you last Saturdays challenge..

Everyone has their own mixture of introversion and introversion.  Their own recipe of introversion-extroversion.  Some are have more of the extroversion ingredient than others.  The reverse is also true.  Some have a 50-50 mix.

I am mostly introvert but over the years learned to tap into the extroversion bit so I could function.  In my late teens and early 20s, I did what I thought I was supposed to do. I had to be independent, strong, not ask for help, and figure things out on my own in order.  I was wrong of course, but that is what society had thought me.  I didn’t know about personality types, introversion, or extroversion.

Facing My Inner Fear.

Last Saturday,  I had an event to attend.  My first event related to my social media business called BBLink Moncton. “(…) a workshop based conference designed to bring together both influencers and local businesses in Atlantic Canada”- BBLink.  That morning, for whatever reason, my timid, introvert self came out strong.  Although I was excited to meet new people and learn new things.  I was also feeling a need to drop out and stay home instead.  It was overwhelming.

What was going on?  Now I know I am perimenopausal and that does have an effect on my emotions.. but it was more than that.  It was something I hadn’t felt since I was a child.

Music is my happy place.

I realize now that anytime I have had to extrovert, music was involved.  I grew up to music.  Our home was always filled with music and singing.  Whether it was practicing for the choir, or with friends for fun.  As a teen as well as in my early 20s, there was always music around whenever I socialized.  I would focus on the music no matter how far in the background it might be.  It’s like an anchor that keeps me grounded.

As an adult, it was the same thing.  Anytime I have extroverted, there has been music around, or at the very least, it has been accessible.   For example, in stores, in restaurant, in coffee shops, playing cards with friends, and in my fitness classes that I teach.  But at this event?  Nope.  Just people.  A place to … gulp… network!.. In person!

I love people.  I honestly do.  I enjoy having meaningful conversations with others.  But I have say, so you can get a better understand where I am coming from, that when there is more than 4 adults around me (kids and teens don’t affect me), I feel a physical change in me.  I feel uncentered.. unstable.. at times shaky… and I can feel the energy drain from me.  Often times I get a headache that may or may not turn into a 2-day migraine.

I went to that event on Saturday, kept my head low and networked just a bit.  By noon, felt the energy drain and by mid afternoon I had a headache.   This is my normal.  This is what happens to me when I socialize.  And that is ok.

Home Sweet Home.

Of course, it was a relief to return home to the soft natural lighting from our big windows and to a much lower level of “noise”.  I quickly got into my jammies, made myself cup of herbal tea and cuddled up on the couch with my kitties.

I am proud of having gone.  I would have missed out otherwise.  It was a great learning opportunity and I look forward to many others.

The moral of the story…

We all have our inner battles.  I encourage you, as I encourage myself, to keep pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone.  Not so much that it hinders you.. just enough that it brings good things into your life.  Let’s not miss out on life and …. all while respecting our limits.  😉 . Face those fears.

Do you have a similar story?

Yours in health, happiness and success,

Nancy Shimmy