I love learning more about my spouse. – 20+ years.

Updated: Dec 3, 2020

I have known my husband since summer 1996. Over a short period of time we got to know each other very well, fall in love, marry and become the best of friends. To this day, I love learning more about my spouse.

We can read each other like open books and finish each others sentences. But you know what? We are still learning about each other. And the more we learn, the more we understand each other at a deeper level and the more our love for each other grows.

Love learning, not only about your spouse, but also about yourself.

Your parents believe they know you better than maybe you even know yourself. And to a point they do. They can read your moods and know when something is wrong even you do your very best to hide it. Yet, do you feel like they still don’t know everything there is to know about you? Do you feel like no one knows you, the real you, the way that you know yourself? Do you know all there is to know about yourself?

Studies have show that “when it comes to personality traits, there are things we know about ourselves that others don’t know, but there are also things others know about us that we don’t know. We have bright spots and we have blind spots.” – More from this article here


By simply paying attention to what my husband acts, what he says, how he says it, and it what situations he says them, I learn a lot. I observe his body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, and reactions.

Any situation is a learning experience. For example, when he reacts to a situation at work, or how he reacts to a more situation situation that we experienced back in 2015.

People tend to react the same way to similar situations with small variations. Over the years, thanks to life experiences, we learn, we grow, and we change our behavioural pattern. Another important reason as to why we should never stop learning about those important to us… and about ourselves.


The ‘C’ word that seems to scare away many people. It doesn’t have to be scary my friend. It also shouldn’t feel like an interrogation. Just talk. Remember when you first met your spouse? In order for the two of you to get to know each other, you would casually ask questions as part of a conversation. Right? This process has never stopped with us. We are as curious about each other now as we were in 1996.

By talking, asking each other questions about thoughts, feelings and actions… we keep learning about each other. There are things I thought I knew and understood about my husband that I really didn’t. Now, twenty plus years later, I get these A-HA moments where things click and I really ‘get’ my husband. More than I ever thought possible. It’s a wonderful feeling and it goes both ways. I love learning more about my spouse as he does about me.

Yourself and others you love.

All of the above is also true when it comes to knowing and understanding yourself and those closest to you. I continuously observe my kids, my parents, my close friends and myself. I am amazed at the things I learn and at how wonderful these human beings are… yes, I include myself in this comment. There is no shame in loving who you are. In fact, be proud of loving who you are. That is how it is supposed to be.

My husband…

… is the most amazing human being I have ever met. He continues to impress me in his growth as a human being. He has a big heart, has a way with difficult people that brings them back around to a calm place, and is always truthful. I could go on of course. Let’s just say he is my best friend, my life partner, a wonderful father and someone I look up to. We are growing together as a couple and as individuals. Always learning from about each other and from each other.

Life is a journey…. Keep learning.

Your in health ~ Nancy Shimmy