Updated: Dec 3, 2020
Often times I hear friends and family stating how much negativity there is around us. One big issue for me is how from a very early age, woman and men, are being sent this message of how we should look, feel, think, act and talk. Remember the “Be A Lady They Said” video? Or the saying “Grown Men Don’t Cry”? Positivity for the win?
The web was created to be a positive thing. Then things happened....
Honestly, it seems that no matter what we do, we are doing it all wrong. How is a person supposed to feel worthy, confident, and believe that all one needs to do is just be? Needless to say, many of us have experienced depression, burnouts, anxiety and panic attacks to name but a few.
What are you exposing yourself to?
Over the years, I have learned to surround myself with the “good” (positivity) and to filter out the “bad” as best as I can. Treating myself like I would treat someone under my care. I choose what I expose myself to. I choose what I absorb in my psyche. Right now you may be thinking that you have no control over what is sent your way via conversations, radio, tv, social media, billboards, etc… But you do.
At this point in my life, my social media feeds are filled with positivity. My social circle is of like minded people. And the people I work with are uplifting, honest, and accepting. It started by changing what I expose myself to, who I expose myself to, and “being” the person I wanted to be until I “became” that very person.
Positivity for the win. – How to filter it all.
I want to give you a few tips from my own experience on how to filter negative messages from our daily lives. These littles things that I have done have helped me quite a bit. It has helped that “inner voice” change from a critic to a loving friend. That is a win!
Why use social media at all? Platforms like Instagram, Twitter and Facebook are a way for us to stay connected, to stay in the know. It can be a fun and positive experience. It’s a matter of understanding how to make it work for us. Easy tips below.
1. Who can see my account?
You choose who you follow and who follows you. Your account can be set to private, or if you have a business, then you would have it as a public account. Either way, you can block people from your account (public account) or refuse to accept them as followers (private account).
2. Choosing what ends up on your newsfeed.
Who you follow and which hashtags you follow will affect your feed. Social media platforms like Instagram know what posts you click on. This is how it learns what you want to see more of. When you click a post to like or comment on it, Instagram (for example) thinks you want to see more of it. If you do NOT want to see these types of posts, refrain from commenting or clicking on them. You can even “mute” stories from your Facebook friends by clicking on the three dots on the upper right-hand corner (when viewing the story), or press and hold the image (when viewing from the list of stories) and choosing “mute”.
3. Choosing what you see from an account you follow.
Even if you are a “follower” of an account, you don’t necessarily have to see their posts. Here’s how…
From your newsfeed: on the three dots on the upper right-hand corner of their post and choose “mute”, from there you can choose to mute posts or mute posts and story.
From your newsfeed: click on the little arrow on the upper right-hand corner of the post and you will get the option “show less often”.
From the account you are following: click on any post (right hand corner) you will get the following options: “unfollow”, “mute”, “block”, “report tweet”.
From a post on your newsfeed from a personal account that you are following, click on the 3 dots next to the post and a list of options will show up. Choose the one that works best for you
From the personal account you are following: Click on “following” to choose “unfollow”, “default” or “see first”. Default means that Facebook will learn from you and show the on your feed accordingly. (as mentioned earlier in this post)
From a page you are following: Click on “following” to choose “unfollow”.
On your phone from the Messenger app: Side-swipe and you will see a list of options there from “mute”, “block”, “delete”, etc. Pick the one that works best for you.
4. Choosing what Sponsored Ads show up on your newsfeed.
Click on the three dots on the upper right-hand corner of the ad and you will be given the option to “Hide ad”, “Report ad”, and “About Instagram Ads”.
This platform has promoted tweets that may show up on your feed if they are relevant to you. Click on the down arrow in the top right corner of the Tweed and a list of options will show up. Simply chose “I don’t like this ad”.
Click on the three dots on the upper right-hand corner of the ad and you will be given the option to “Hide ad”, “Report ad”, “Save video”, and more. You can also choose the option of “Why am I seeing this ad?” for more details on how to control which ads you see. Another option is, from your laptop, to go to click on the upper right-hand corner of your screen… see that upside-down triangle? Click on that and scroll down to “Newsfeed preferences”. From there, you will have access to more fun options.
NEWS / ENTERTAINMENT / PEOPLE
This one should be easy but may seem like it isn’t. Pick and choose what magazine, newspaper article, movie and people you let into your daily life. Dare I repeat myself? Positivity for the win!
The news is everywhere. On the radio, on social media, on TV, in conversations. You can always turn off the radio, keep scrolling past the news article that is not relevant to what you choose to allow into your life, change the news channel, change the conversation. You can and you should 🙂
I love action movies, but I limit what my eyes and sometimes ears absorb. This may sound silly but it works for me. Some of those movies can be a bit much with the killing, blood and gore. This is when I close my eyes and may even plug my ears until the scene is over.
If the lyrics of a song on the radio do not match what you want to let into your psyche, turn off the radio or change the station.
People at work and outside of work
Start hanging out more with those who inspire you and accept you as you are. Stop hanging out with those who drain you and bring you down. Not always an option? Then limit the time you spend with them.
What about the people you have to work with? You can limit the time you interact with them. Keep it down to what is necessary and business talk only. Don’t share your personal life with them. Avoid giving them an opening to share their 2 cents about anything other than what is required for the work to be done.
YOU HAVE THE POWER.
The choice is always yours. Don’t take that power away from yourself by saying you don’t. It is possible to enjoy social media, movies, etc, in spite of the bad and the ugly. The power is always in you. Re-read the tips above and remind yourself… you have control. Remember: Positivity for the win.
Last but not least, stay true to who you are. Maybe you lost yourself along the way? Take the time to know who you are and to just be.
Yours in wellness, Nancy Shimmy